


You took my soul and wiped it clean (our love was made for movie screens)

by tchalamet



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Don’t, EVENTUAL MENTIONS OF ABUSE so if that triggers you, F/M, I’m shit at tagging, Just read, M/M, Sadness, Set after the filming of CMBYN, Unrequited Love, absolutely don’t read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 22:26:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14411829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tchalamet/pseuds/tchalamet
Summary: Timothée is left alone in Crema after the filming of Call Me By Your Name.Armie is Back in Los Angeles, with Elizabeth.Timothée’s not sure he remembers how to breathe without Armie being there by his side.





	You took my soul and wiped it clean (our love was made for movie screens)

**Author's Note:**

> So hello! This is my first work of fiction so please go gentle on me. This wasn’t proof-read and English isn’t my first language, I apologise in advance for every eventual mistake. I’ll add tags with the story developing!

* * *

**Timothée**.

_Empty._

That’s what Timothée would’ve told you if you asked him what he felt like. The ache mourning in his chest could only be compared to the feeling you get after having kept your head underwater for too long, he was longing for oxygen to fill his lungs and let him be able to breathe again. Only, it wasn’t oxygen he was looking for.

The only person capable to fulfil his desperate need of oxygen laid fast asleep in his Los Angeles villa, thousands of miles away from him, away from Crema, the playground that witnessed their love’s growth, and eventually, its death, away from everything that ever mattered to Timothée but that simply didn’t matter anymore, wasn’t enough.

How can a person change everything you’ve always believed in by simply walking into your life, knocking down your walls just to walk right out and leave you exposed, vulnerable for the world to tear apart?

Why was the river’s flow not beautiful to look at anymore? Why did the city look so shallow to him? Why did everything look so blank now, compared to the summer, their summer?

Armie was married, damn it.

_Hold, hold on to me. ‘Cause I’m a little unsteady.._

He’d flown back to the woman he was married to. He was married to a gorgeous woman- of course he was, it’s not like their _little story_ meant anything to him, it’s not like Timothée gave his heart away just to have it shattered on the floor by someone he trusted, _loved_ , it’s not like he can’t even fucking breathe whenever he thinks of their bodies together, of how cold his bed feels now, now that Armie’s not there with him anymore.

It’s not like lying in the same bed Armie slept in for the time they spent together in Crema is making his chest ache and his veins tremble. It’s not like he sniffs the cushions hoping to find a fading trace of his presence, trying to find something of him, _anything_ , any proof of him actually having been there, because he’s left wondering, sometimes, _was it even all real?_ It didn’t last enough for him to be able to answer that.

How could he simply go back to his Armie-less life? How was he supposed to put on a smile and talk about _how great_ it had been to work with such a talented actor, and how he had learned from him?

Surely it wasn’t only him who had learned how to do things, Armie inexperienced on everything when it came to loving each other. Was it even love?

What people were now expecting from him was for him to go back to his life, film Lady Bird, make himself sick and lose 25 pounds so he could fit well enough for his _Beautiful Boy_ lead role.

On top of all that, he would have to keep in contact with Armie, beautiful, loving Armie, who had no idea how much their little escapade had meant to him and was full of dreams and hopes when it came to their friendship.

 _I could go back to dating girls_ , he thought.

He thought about how easier it would make things, about how he could still tell their story, say he fell for this italian _girl_ , how lovely it all had been until he had to leave the country.

Who cared if that meant he would be twisting the reality so it would fit the narrative, if it meant using the memories Armie gifted him to get over him?

 _Empty_.

Timothée was finding it hard to breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked it :) Chapter two soon to come !


End file.
